| Lately things have been confusing, rough, and just plain insanity. My life in my eyes right now, is like train that has stopped in the middle of no where, and theres nothing I can do to get the train moving to towards somewhere safe and secure were I can call my sanctuary. Okay so that probably doesn't make any sense, but I know what I mean. Like I have said my heart is broken in areas, that I didn't know that could be broken. The beginning of 2006 I lost my friend of 13 years of friendship, do to her being jealous of making new friends at my youths concert venue, 'The Hanger.' I'm in tears at I type this. Before that I lost of another friend and I met him at church, and was the sweetest person and I absolutely enjoyed talking to him, when I got the chance. He was like an awesome friend, that would want to go shopping with me, just so we could talk and hang out. I miss you *Justin J.*! I lost alot in the end of 2005 and throughout 2006. I have also gained alot of good things in those two years and in this new one. I'm affraid, that my friend that was jealous of the friend I made at The Hanger, is now another friend that I have lost. Note to all you young teenage girls: When a boy gives you the slightest attention, don't feed off of it and think he attomatically likes you. Young teenage boys don't know what they want, and they to may indeed feed off the attention. I have learned the hard way. And because of me being inmature and making one stupid mistake, even though I have never dated anyone, there were still attachments made. The type now when I look at Mountain Dew, a tear comes into my eye cause thats my friends favorite drink, but that makes me right away start praying for them. Even tough they have done me wrong, I still love him in a brotherly way. Sociaty will tell you when you hit 13 years of age, you should start dating. My saloution to that is, are you ready to get married? You know whats right and you know whats wrong. And no I'm not perfect, I've done wrong things in my life too. You may not understand where I'm coming from. So if you don't check Barlowgirl, and then you'll understand things better. *I do appologize cause its late and I have a headache* Through the midst of all this grief I have to overcome it with good and positive things. Does this mean I hate these people? Does it mean that I don't care about them or love them? No, I do love them, care about them, and I don't hat them. I dont' hate anyone, except for the lying and OH SO STUPID Satan! The song "Prais You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns is has been running in my head ever since Christmas. On Christmas Eve I helped my Dad pack his stuff out of the house, do to my parents getting a divorce. I'm upset, confused, angry, and very sad. I have alot of hatred wanting to take place in my heart with my Dad, but for some reason all I can do is love him. As sitt in tears, I miss my Dad who I visited here Saturday. But miss him. My heart is breaking into a million peices, and the scotch tape isn't doing the job. Thats why I'm choosing Jesus to be my spiritual tape, but yes there will still be holes in my heart, but I have the coice to let go and forgive. "We live, we love, we forgive, and never give up..." I love that song that Superchic[k] sings. That kinda goes along with whats going on right now in my life. I would apperciate your prayers and love. <3 "Jesus Take The Wheel...take it from my hands...cause I can't do this on my..own.." Carrie Underwood's song is awesome too. Geeze, what is it whith me just rambling on about my life and then, BAM!!! Theres parts of beautiful song lyrics splashed everywhere? Well I'm gonna try to get a good nights rest...try. Maybe sometime later I can update without being so emotional. I do appologize if anythings out of place or if I'm out of place. Send me some love, cause I would apperciate it. <3 Love you all and God Bless! Forever His, Annie P.S. *cries* Sorry. Once again if things don't make sense then please comment me and tell me so. |
Gosh, time sure does fly by.